what if i told you i liked you but didnt use the right words or what if i told you i liked you but used incorrect syntax or what if i told you i liked you but forgot to correctly punctuate my sentences

would you still understand

would you acquiesce to my feelings or reject them

Is good grammar holding me back? or should i lose filter

is filter the word i should use there are should i use another i should just stick with it

writers block is both intangible and unquantifiable  yet also concrete what if i just began to write in a stream of consciousness manner and threw out all filters do i think this way do i speak this way have i had too dense a filter my entire life is to be “reserved” to have too much filter what if i rejected it and spoke my mind wrote my mind

would you like me or subjectively object me

do i include these spaces in between lines because of you or because of me do i think you’ll understand them more or do i think ill understand them

my brother just texted me distracting me silence the phone need to write

but back to the issue at hand why do we have grammar what is the need for syntax what is the need to spell things correctly or use punctuation correct we if other each understand isnt the purpose of language to communicate and if you understand me why do we fuss so much over the details of grammer alot why is it when i see a mrsspelled word that i am so bothered becuz after all i understand what your saying despite you’re bad grammer if the illocution is the intention of the speaker and the perlouction is how it was received by the listener then what is the use of getting hung up on the finer details if we git other each

Is good grammar a status symbol? Does it make me smarter than you? Or merely appear smarter than you? wood you still respekt me if i didnt hvae good grammer Are my thoughts more profound because I use correct punctuation or, less so if i use, incorrect: punctuation)

i wnat to lose the filter i want to tell you what i think without worrying abt whut i sound like i want to to be uninhibited Why isn’t “hibited” a word? i want to be expressive of all the feelings i hvae inside me because there are many i dont want to s[end my entire life worrying so much about the tiny details if there prohibitive of my expression bc i only have this one life to do so thirty-7 years have gone by haEv i expressed myself all that i can or Have I edited the content (in my mind) that it was so refined that I lost its originally meaning and–perhaps–spontanaeity or perfect timing. with certain relationships it seems im most inhibited in this regard alwaYS thinking

…thinking…

…thinking…

…thinking…

…THINKING…

…wya too much and not ACTING say what is on my mind let it go let you know dont wait go on your instinct after all despite thinking were are greater we are animals and like others we have instincts so why do i not trust mine is this because of years of being taught to think things through before acting this is sound advice but is it the the right tact for every situation i think not

my instinct says i want to be expressive

uninhibited

present(ly)…

if i told you i likd you but didnt use good grammer wuld you (still) lke me(?)

i like u

Do you like me?

thx fer reeding

-josh

Songs listened to while writing this post:

• The Comeback, Alex Cameron
• High and Low, Empire of the Sun
• Wolf Like Me, TV On The Radio
• DLZ, TV On The Radio
• Heathens, Twenty One Pilots
• Lost, Frank Ocean
• Sweet Disposition, The Temper Trap
• 22 (OVER S∞∞N), Bon Iver
• Re: Stacks, Bon Iver
• Starboy, The Weeknd
• Priestess, Pumarosa
• Bad Time, How Sad
• Hot Blur, How Sad
• Macee, How Sad

Sooo, yeah, here I am…writing on a blog. Or is that, “writing a blog.” Whichever it is, I certainly don’t know what I’m doing, nor do I know what will become of it or what you (yeah, you, the one person other than myself reading this) will make of it. Heck, I don’t even know if I’ve categorized this blog correctly. What I do know is that I expect it to become a cathartic experience for myself–I have always enjoyed writing (I’ll leave whether I’m actually good or not at it to you…what was your name, by the way?), and it has always been an outlet for me. However, my hope is that by putting this (er, myself?) out there it can potentially be of some use to you as well.

I was somewhat recently asked by my counselor–yes, I see a counselor monthly, it’s awesome, and I highly recommend it–if I’d ever considered writing a blog. Uhhh, no? I mean, again, I like to write and all, but what on Earth am I going to blog about? Well, I still don’t know the answer to that, but according to her my thoughts on, like, life stuff were insightful (her word, not mine) and could be helpful to others and that I should put it out there. So, here I am: OUT (T)HERE.

Save for those closest to me, my feelings are generally kept pretty close to the shirt (yes, I know the saying, but I don’t wear a vest and odds are neither do you). Anyhow, so if you’re not one of those closest to me (and if it’s really just you, What’s Your Name, then you probably aren’t) then this will be just as weird for you to read as it will be for me to write–SOLIDARITY.

Oh, yeah–the blog title: A book that really resonated with me in high school was “The Road Less Traveled” by Scott Peck. It’s a unique and interesting read, with some weird vocabulary (e.g. – “cathect”), and if you’ve never picked it up I highly suggest it. “The Road Somewhat Traveled,” “The Road (More) or Less Traveled,” etc. were all taken. So, I’m “kind of” traveled, because I’m a blogger now…kind of.

So, to conclude my first official blog post I will leave you with an excerpt from something I wrote in my “journal” a couple years ago. Enjoy (or something):

During my trip to Venezuela the summer after my freshman year of high school I had my palms read. I don’t remember too much from the experience except that the reader remarked that around the midpoint of my palm’s “lifeline” (if that’s what it’s called) there is a major negative life event which occurs. This has always stuck with me; namely because I always feared it signified someone close to me dying. And while time will certainly tell, I’ve begun to wonder if what occurred last July isn’t that event. 

I don’t think people ever really “get over” anything. I think it’s just another way of saying, “I’ve learned how to live with it.” It’s our psyche categorizing the experience in a way that we’re able come to terms with. I haven’t gotten over you; I’ve merely learned how to live my life with the understanding that you are gone. Since you left there hasn’t been a day that’s passed that you haven’t crossed my mind, and that’s just fine.